I just saw a hot homeless man
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
