i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize