Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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