Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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