I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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