: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
