youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
