He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
