you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
