i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I looked at my own cervix.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
