i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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