Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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