One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
