1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
