She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
