He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
