& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize