you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
