My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
