I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
