CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
