He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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