i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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