We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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