I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
