My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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