why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize