thus making me awesome and them whores
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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