I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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