You're my little dorito
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
smell my finger.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
