That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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