So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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