His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize