ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
