Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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