If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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