and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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