a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
