first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
