yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
