WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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