Me too!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
