You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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