I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
