do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
