Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You left your phone here
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