It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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