Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize