worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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