I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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