If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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