So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
