need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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