Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
