hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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