dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
