Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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