I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
