i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
